7 Self Care Items to Double Down on This Winter (and a gift for you!)

If I’m hearing it from so many places, I’m sure you are too. The next couple of months are going to be difficult. It’s dark at 4pm, the weather is cold and dreary and the slow burn trauma of the pandemic is continuing to hit closer and closer to home. With these realities comes the recommendation to double down on self care. But what if you’re in such a mental space that you can’t even think of what to do to feel better? I’ve got a simple list of 7 Self Care Items to Double Down on This Winter and a little gift to help you remember. These are the things I’m doubling down on myself. I hope they help you too!

1. Reach out - Phone a friend, text someone, get on that zoom call or go for a socially distanced walk (yes, even in the cold). Connection to other humans (and seeing them in 3D if you can do so safely) is so important right now. This is especially true for humans that don’t live in your home. We love our immediate families, but our extended family and friends are important too!

2. Be playful - You may feel like doing anything but playing right now, but what if you spent a moment or two playing with your cat, dog, hamster, child, grandchild or hedgehog?? I bet they would be more than ready to oblige and they might bring a smile to your face too! When’s the last time you dusted off the board games or took out the playing cards? Maybe there’s something else that you do for play that you’ve forgotten about? Adults need playfulness too! So go glitter bomb those cards or get out the paints and allow yourself to play!

3. Meditation - Here’s an interesting tidbit I read recently. Meditation increases blood flow to the prefrontal cortex of your brain. This is the area responsible for really important things like regulating impulses (no you don’t need to put yet another Christmas gift you can’t afford on your credit card!) and the execution, order and and timing of sequential acts towards a goal. Want to know what to do next when that next difficult choice comes up? MEDITATE NOW. You’ll be glad you did. Don’t know how? I’ve got some downloads that can help.

4. Healthy Food - We all know it’s the time of year when we are more likely to throw caution to the wind and indulge in all those holiday treats we may have loved as a child. I’m right there with you. And I think there’s something actually healthy about that. But I also believe in the 80/20 rule. Make your choices in food better for you 80 percent of the time and your body, mind and spirit will thank you. Now pass the egg nog! 😉

5. Gratitude - It’s so simple but so overlooked. There are still things to be grateful for right now. Really! Write down 3 things each morning, evening or both and your mindset will start to transform. Be sure to do your best to really allow yourself to FEEL that gratitude deeply. It actually rewires your brain and that’s something we all need right now.

6. Movement - Take a yoga class! Or go for a walk. Or dance around your living room to your favorite song between zoom calls with your camera off and freak out the cat. Just get yourself moving somehow. Stagnation doesn’t feel good. Get your heart pumping so you can remember that you are alive and how precious a gift that really is, particularly right now.

7. Sleep - I know zoning out watching Hallmark movies until 3am just kinda happens but I can’t impress upon you enough the transformational power of sleep. More and more studies are showing that not sleeping is worse than smoking and other similar things that we know aren’t healthy for us. Sleep is when your brain takes out the literal and figurative trash. It’s just so important to your overall health and wellbeing. If you struggle in this department make sure your room is cool and dark, get the screens out of the bedroom and turn them off two hours before bed and go to bed and get up at the same time EVERY day (that last one is tough but trust me, it works!).

Are you going to get all of these done every single day? Probably not. Could you do one? I bet you could! Will you feel absolutely wonderful and fine if you do all these things? Probably not. Life still happens. But you’ll be able to come back to your center much more quickly when life throws you for a loop.

To help you remember to do at least one thing from this list EACH DAY I’ve created these phone wallpapers for you. Just load this blog post on your phone and save your favorite. Make it your Lock Screen or your Home Screen so you can remember to check one thing off the list each day.

And please, if you are seriously struggling with your mental health or are contemplating suicide please call the National Suicide Prevention hotline at 800-273-8255 in the USA or contact an organization like NAMI for mental health resources. You matter and we need you here doing your work in this world.

Wishing you health and safety as we move forward into this next season. 💙🙏🕉

If you’re having trouble fitting my livestream classes into your daily schedule consider trying out my On Demand Membership via Patreon. You’ll find all the details on accessing On Demand Membership here!

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When yoga isn't enough...

The quote above is one I think of often as I interact with people wherever I am. We all have our moments when we act less than skillfully. The reasons can be many and varied given the day. But sometimes it's not a matter of being skillful or unskillful. Sometimes it's simply a matter of having a very human experience depending on the challenges we are facing in the moment. Yoga gives us some really wonderful tools for navigating life's challenges.

But I'm here to tell you it isn't always enough.

You may be quite surprised to have a yoga teacher tell you that, but I speak from personal experience. Sometimes yoga just isn't enough to get you through. Sometimes there is no amount of breathing, meditation, movement, mindfulness, philosophy, prayer or focusing on the divine that is going to help you make your way through the challenges of the moment. Sometimes it is just so dark and you are so far down that you may not even be able to call upon your steady practice to get you out.

I've been there. And not so long ago.

After I moved the studio to Milford I reached a breaking point. I have battled anxiety and depression since I was 15 years old, so anxiety attacks were not unfamiliar. It was somewhat interesting to me that it happened AFTER the move was done, but about a month later I started having anxiety attacks that were so bad I really thought I might need to go to the hospital because there was something wrong with my heart. Many challenges were conspiring to bring that about at the time. Moving the studio, my first year teaching a teacher training, personal relationship challenges, etc. Sure I used my yogic tools, but they kept happening and they were approaching debilitating. It was time for something else.

Therapy.

Why am I sharing this with you? Because I'm observing so many things lately in our world. The stigma around life not being neat and perfect (blame social media if you will but this was happening in the world long before social media). The lack of coping mechanisms we are typically brought up with in this society. The shame that often surrounds needing to ask for help, even from those that are closest to us. This is all a recipe for not only unhappiness, but depending on the severity of the issues, danger.

I'm here to tell you that life can really suck sometimes and asking for help is not a shameful act. It's the greatest act of self love and self care you can do. That doesn't mean it's easy. That doesn't mean it isn't hard, but it is so important.

So, I have a therapist. I speak to her nearly every week. She helps me process what's happening in my life at the moment. She helps me process things from my past. She helps me see that I have choices in every moment. She helps me look at the world differently when things are just too overwhelming to bear. She helps me see how my past colors my present and that when I really look at the dark shadows, I can shed light on them and I can be and feel different in the here and now. She listens to me and helps me understand that yes, I have faced more than my fair share of "stuff" and that I'm not crazy to feel the way I feel sometimes. 

And as a bonus, she knows who Krishna Das is.

Therapy doesn't make me a bad yogi. It makes me a smart one. I knew that I couldn't climb my way out of my anxiety on my own. I knew that it was time to face some of the demons that had been swept under the rug for far too long. I knew myself well enough to reach out when I couldn't solve it myself and THAT is something that DID come from my yoga practice. As Sally Kempton speaks about in this interview, I was lucky enough to have a solid enough practice and enough experience with discernment to know that my pain was doing injury, not helping me grow. Rather than staying with it, it was time to make a change.

If you are struggling with the deep hard things of life, definitely do your practice. But also don't be afraid to ask for help beyond the yoga mat. Call a friend or family member and see if they can talk to you. Maybe you don't even talk about what's bothering you at the moment but you just talk. Maybe that person knows a good therapist. Maybe you call a national hotline. But remember that therapy is out there and while it may take more than one try to find a person that resonates with you, the seeking is worth it. You are worth it. 

If you are local and looking for help and don't know where to begin please check out Milford Regional Counseling Services. I don't have personal experience with them but I've heard good things. If you don't have health insurance they may be able to help.

I wish you peace and a guiding light of hope as you find your way through whatever challenges life is serving you at this moment.